Deathline weigh in (now for real)

Hey guys, so yea I was crazy tired yesterday so I actually couldn't write as much about my deathline as I would've liked to. But I am gonna do that now, just because it also helps me to actually write that stuff down.

So today no art, jsut the rambling (I might actually post some sketches later :D)

So yea just quickly summarizing my deathlinegoals:

1. Getting a fixed amount of monay by July to be able to pay of my student-loan for the one year I went to artschool

2. Shifting my workschedule to maximize my daily workhours by living a rigid schedule of 6 hours sleep per day, 8 hours of the fulltime studiojob I have and at least 8 hours of personal/freelance work.

3. Getting fulltime into freelance to be able to quit my studiojob by the end of the year.

So yea those are the three main things, so where do I stand with those?

1. Well this thing actually worked itself out as I already wrote in my last post. The pressure of having that bulk of money by July had simply gone away as it turned out that my bank made a mistake and I am actually allowed to pay off my students-loan the "normal way" meaning monthly rates. That being said I probably would not have been able to pull it off until then unfortunately. Partly because of the decisions I made throughout the last 6 months as far as taking on work is concerned and partially because of the simple fact that even if I did take on every offer I got I wouldn't have been able to make it (more on that in point 3)


2. So yeaaaaa I did that for the first 5 months but simply gave it up after then because I started to feel really sick way too often wich in teh end effected my productivity and backfired quite badly so that I ended up not being able to get any more stuff into my head, just feeling like a piece of shit. The problem was not really the 6 hours of sleep necessarily but mostly the pace I have been working in when I was awake. My whole days began to just be a stessful struggle, being a mixture of mindless work + feeling bad about not getting much done, which ultimately lead to feeling really bad. So the only reasonable thing was to stop this madness. I am on a normal 8 hour sleep schedule now and all in all taking it easier just as far as being concerned about "making it" is concerned. I still work pretty much every waking hour excluded my lunchbreaks but I decided not to stress out myself too much about how things will end up. The result of that at least for me is that I am now able to really focus on improving and feeling more and more confident about myself and my work rather than just puming out senseless stuff all the time being a zombie. Noooooooooooow you can disagree with em on that calling me a slacker but what can I say, with my fulltime job I still have to handle right now as well this is the way that gets me the best results.

3. And finally the big one. I have talked about that a couple of times in my monthly weigh-ins but for the overally view of the situation this is what I can say right now:

At the moment my freelance income is both rather low as well as very inconsistent, I had months where I wouldn'T have needed a fulltime job and months where I did not make a single penny off of freelance work, which for me at least is pretty fine, since it's the nature of teh beast pretty much and even if half of the deathline is over, these are my first 6 months of caring about freelancing at all, so I would be studid if I was all worried and crazy right now.
Another thing is that as much as I wanted to do it in the beginning I actually stopped taking on every job that I got offered. The reason for that is that the whole plan behind me wanting to go freelance is to improve my life basically, being happy with what I do. Doing 10 Illustrations a month for 50 Bucks each simply doesn'T get me in that situation, so I don't do that stuff anymore. I decided that I could use the time way more useful with doing personal work, being "out there" in the Internet and basically finding out what I want to do which way, which is the whole point of building a strong portfolio.
Now some fo you may probably say that this is even a shitty attitude because you kind of have to go through this phase of doing badly payed job to get to the point where things get brighter. I have to say that I really never got that point, it always seemed to me like a mindless kind of Dogma which people believed for no real reason. For me the thing which is more important NOW (yea it took some time for me to figure it out) is to actually trying to build a presence in the public, meaning the internet and taking this base to show work around, getting known for got work and solid improvement, being passionate and kind of sharing experiences. This is what gets attention and ultimately leads to good jobs. So my priorities have kind of shiftet there quite a bit.

So out of that a new goal emerged which is that I really want to get out there more, meaing the internet, actually  making people know me for what I do. Now this wont be easy, mostly because of the kind of person I am but I also think that this will be real fun and I am looking forward to it as hell!!


That being said, if you like my work and/or my ramblings please feel free to share the link to this site and let people know that I actually exist :D  http://cgbrush.org



Please excuse all the typos, but seriously this is a shitload of text that I just cranked out I would be crazy if I read it all again to correct it hahahah :D