Jeeesus fucking Christ, 4 Months already???

Whew, okay I knew that my last update here was quite some time ago but 4 Months ago?? Wow that's a long time! Kinda embarrising right now that I am just going to share a whole lot of text but only a few poor drawings with you but I guess that's better than nothing, right? :)

So wow, 4 Months, kinda weird to think about how life was 4 Months ago and how it is now, cause it actually changed a whoooole lot.

The main thing that changed and actually made the rest of my life go upside down is the fact that I am a fulltime concept artist now :)

The company I am working on is quite a big videogames developer called "noumena studios" and its based right in the heart of Berlin aaaaaand it's friggin AWESOME!!
It's so amazing to have finally reached the first real big step in my career as an artst, finally I can make a living by doing what I love doing most, the dream has actually come true, and I can't even express how thankful I am for that. Actually it wasn't only once that I had to hold back one or two tears of joy, just sitting there at my office desk and just drawing characters and environments :)
Well of course the fact that I am living in Berlin right now goes together with my job, and OF COURSE this is fucking amazing as well, although I gotta say that I actually haven't seen too much of this amazing city besides the supermarket nearby, the laundry and quite a bunch of the major sights Berlin has to offer, although concidering how big this town is it's kinda silly to say that one living here for 3 months right now has seen "quite a bunch" of anything :D
Hmmm what else..........haha yeah actually I'ts pretty exciting living a "grown up persons" life now, having to care abouth health insurance, having to pay for my bank account now, not being allowed to get the "students ticket" for trains and busses anymore, simple stuff like that haha.

Besides all that I have been crazy busy with organizing all kinds of shit and with work itself actually. Slowly but surely, though, there is light at the end of the tunnel and I am starting to have time for me and personal work again, which is just great :)

So yeah, everything's great right now, nothing to complain about, which is a great thing in itself actually :)

So enough fo that, on to some art:
As much as I remember last year it was pretty much just cranking out portfolio work, teaching me how to paint digitally actually to be able to put a bunch of work together to get me a job, which greatfully worked out.
I have to admit, however that there were a lot of times where art felt like hard hard work to me, and some times even like the kind of hard work that you simply don't want to do. I kinda started to get into that bad habit of making art a business, a work-thing, which was in retrospective a very very bad thing to do, as much as it brought me forward in my career as an artist.

Gladfully NOW this is finally over. Of course I am still all about improving my skills, getting better and better, hatig my work ( :D ) but now, that I actually don't have to worry about my life itself there is a whole different, a much much muuuuch more enjoyable base to all of that. Now that I sit down after work and just start drawing or painting there's nothing but joy and excitement, all the fear of failing has completely fallon off of me. Now if I screw up a drawing I just don't give a shit at ALL, everything that counts is the fun that I had while doing it, and nothing else. Now finally I feel like being able to do things which I couldn't imagine doing just 5 months ago just because of the shere fear of failing, of not doing well enough. One example is that I've started to draw all my characterdesigns with a ballpoint pen, just for the sake of it, just because I am feeling free now and don't give a shit if I screw up a drawing, even if it's in the final stroke, the product just becomes soooo unimportant concidering the fun, and the experience and the learning it gave to me :)

And this is the best feeling in the world. And this is the truly important thing that has changed in my life. Sure, the job is awesome, my appartment is cool but these are rather the base for me to finally being able to enjoy my life and what I do. Cause it's the feeling of pure joy everyday that should be strived for and nothing else :)

No finally to that update:
As I said so far I didn't have time to actually produce some personal pieces which are worth showing you guys, so there's no more than a few character sketches I made the last 2 or 3 weeks beginning with a rather big personal project, which excites the hell outta me:
I decided to create "redesigns" of basically the entire bible, of course starting with the old testament.
Since this text is already sooo frigging long and I am kinda getting tired of typing all that shit, I will add some descriptions to these drawings maybe tomorrow. Just so you know, here we have Adam and Eve, a Cherub, Kain(already tweaked that sucker in PS a bit, since I am going to start painting him today) and goliath till now. Of course all these sketches will be painted, don't worry :) (sorry for teh bad quality of teh photos but by scanner is fucked up and it was slowly getting too dark to get a decent shot with my cam)

As a last thing I want to mention that I want to start doing some lifestreaming in the very near future just to keep me going any maybe some of you guys are actually interested in seeing what I'm doig here. I will keep this blog updated as quick as I start the streams. So without further blabla, here are the sketches :)




AAAAAAAAah haha before I forget it: unfortunately i can't show you any of the work I have done so far on our project at work buuuut Kalypso Media actually showed a part of one of the paintings I did for them. I have no idea why they decided to take that detail and blow it up so ridiculously much so that the non existing detail (which actally wasn't necessary to be painted in original size, that's why it's not there :D :D) is clearly visible, but whatever, here's a sneakpeak :)


Hope you like some of that stuff. see you soon :)