thinking thinking......

......hey everybody.
unfortunately there won't be any art today. Not because I didn't paint, more because I have started doing some stilllifes using Photoshop for the first time, so consequently they suck pretty hard, so I won't show them just now. Maybe I will post them in here with some better ones I'll surely do in the future :D

There are a few other things though I would like to share, which sometimes are just as important to me as painting itself: thoughts thoughts thoughts.
Art is such a big part in my life that there is literally no minute I do not have it at least somewhere in my head no matter if I am actually painting or doing something else.
In the last few days, for some reason, I heard various artist say that you should not be driven by money if you want to break into the art industry on a professional level. For some reason that made me really think, because right now I am in the situation where I'm pushing sooooo friggin hard to improve my skills in order to be able to kinda "break" into the industry, being able to leave that crappy artschool and finally start to pay some bills with my art.
Of course it was always clear for me that my desire to work in the art industry isn't driven by money or anything like that, but sometimes it is important to just put your thoughts and believes into order, just to have them as clear as day right in front of you, to remember that whole "what is that all about".
SO what is my desire to work in the art industry all about? Is it about money? no, not at all. It's not even really about changing my living situation right now, which I can obviously only do if I get some more money. (on a sidenote: right now I am living together with my girlfriend in a 20m² appartment, having to worry about money every single day and how to spent it so that we'll be able to have something to eat till the end of the month. To make it short: Probably one would callme a " really poor fuck" :D). but even being able to change that situation isn't what drives me with my career in art in the first place.

So what is it?

actually it's really simple: I want to work. period. Right now I am pushing myself so hard, trying to improve my skills that practically my whole day is filled with making art, but I want more! I am literally longing to having this exhausting life of a working professional artist, I just want to push myself even harder and harder and harder, working on my absolute maximum potential, working for other people, packing all my intensity into working as hard as I possibly can.
This is what drives me the most, I am pushing it just for the sake of being able to push it even more in my future, hyping up the intensity, learning more and more....not wasting my time in an artschool which doesn't help me at all with anything, just doing art, challenging myself every minute of every day...yes that would be my dreamlife.
Right now there is just so much stuff (mainly that stupid school, I just can't leave before I can pay some bills on my own) which distracts me from working on my full potential, it's just such a waste, seriously.
Well so what's the point in posting this here? I think that attitude is the base, the foundation of the things that we do, so it's just as important as the things we actually do, and sometimes, as I already said, I just need to get these thoughts clearly into my head in order to hype it up even more, to motivate me and last but not least to get even more excited about the things which I will experience in my future life.......god I love that stuff :D